Love and Marriage

"They're having a dry wedding."

"A WHAT!?"

"Like, no booze..."

"Do we have to go?"

--related to a very unhappy husband over burritos at Qdoba, Washington St.

Well, He Gets Points for Honesty

"Pardon me, sir. I would like to get inebriated. Could you spare some change?"

--one of the many, many homeless men in front of the Washington St. CVS

How YOU doin?

"Isn't it a little early to be putting up lights?"

"Nahhh...we're Italian!"

--one Jersey boy to another, stringing up Christmas lights a week before Thanksgiving outside of Emmanuel's Hair Salon on Washington Street

Earth to Airhead

Girl 1: Have you downloaded Google earth?

Girl 2: Uh, no...

Girl 1: It's fucking awesome! I can like, see my house!

-- genius lessons from the waterfront walkway near the 340 Grill

Making Dinner Awkward, Every Time

"See THAT's why I'm wearing the headset tonight!"

-- the always way, way too frantic floor manager at Busker's

His One and Only

"Jenna's my girl, she's the only one who gets me going."

"Jenna who?"

"Jenna Jameson, duh!"

--one very single tough guy to another while doing crunches at the NYSC on a lonely Wednesday night

I Know Who You Are… You're That Jackass!

"You don't even want to know who I am! You're talking to the wrong man."

-- someone suffering a Napolean complex defending the "honor" of his double-parking girlfriend while her need for a slice at Filippo's on Washington on a busy Saturday night left someone parked in

Bill O'Reilly Has Totally Lost It

"They ought to take an axe and kill the mayor. He's a fucking bum. I'll say it, I don't care who hears it."

-- sidewalk punditry from a homeless man in front of city hall

How 'Bout You Just Quit Talking?

"I was working in construction, and I hated it. I wanted to quit, but I didn't. Instead, I quit myself."

-- a gent letting it all hang out to his female companion at the Elysian Cafe

Shop Talk?

"You couldn't get that girl off the pole at that club."

--Texas Arizona, 76 River St.